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>had to complete a job survey for my employer before I left work. >Do I like working here? >idk, blow me >rough night, tired af >even boss tells me to get some rest >night off, just happy I don't have to come back here >get home and sink into bed >hop on socials, soak up anything that happened while I was gone >Food distribution happening at my college >asking for volunteers >help shuck corn and packs bags of vegetables >local families, mostly old people who don't like the grocery store >about 100 people, org expected more >group photo, nobody wants to be in it... >local Hero is there >completely normal guy >face of a immigrant rights group >raided by HSI, pmc units >called them sloppy, mismatched with gear and insignia >detained and held while waiting for federal investigators >seized devices and materials at random, no clear directive >head home to finally sleep >zzz >my gc is popping off while i'm asleep >might wanna go to local bar, might wanna go downtown >wifebot wants to go the gym right after work, dinner >barely woke up after she drove home >friends start calling about plans >barely conscious yet >ok, gym closes first, need to go there >wearing same pajamas I slept in, gamestop shorts >barely get on treadmill >lights start turning off >it closes an hour early on friday >fuck it, dinner then >have to pick up friend, call for his order >chick-fil-a >me and wifebot got tenders >sandiwch for the homie >swoop zach from his gf and head back home >desperately need to change >roomate in the shower so cant >brush teeth >put on deodorant >fix my hair >put on some bullshit >baggy jeans >chinese tech T-shirt >wifebot doesn't wanna go out, work tomorrow >DD tonight, still hitting pen lmao >friends are already there, bump tunes along highway. >park in giant concrete structure, 2nd floor >busy night on main st >local grads celebrating >supposed to meet at a saloon, crowded spot playing shitty music >Zach has to piss, next door is easier >waiting in line, it's karaoke night >mostly millenials on stage, 2010's pop covers >an awkward guy began a Taylor swift, hard not to cringe >a guitar and drum tracks started coming in >total switch to metal cover, dude kills the vocals >definitely some OG Emos at this place, knew one who worked the bar >finally got through the bathroom and found our friends >they wanted to grub and get their first round of drinks >stayed at that bar for some pizza and more karaoke >We trekked down the line to the last bar >local gay bar, best music >everyone ends up there anyway >ran into some friends playing pool >the girls wanted to dance so we took their place >pool game got tense, 4-ish rounds whiffing the 8ball >scratched when I finally made it in, fucking hell >last round of drinks around 1am, local brews >I got to try someone's whiskey sour >I smoked a 2nd cigarette of the night and regretted it >passed it off half way through and had to sit down >#nicsick , sitting nauseated in a dark corner on some patio chairs >I was just Zach's ride, and our car was a bit of a walk >he wanted to stay until 2, bar started kicking everyone out before 1:45 >the rest of our friends wanted tacos from a stand in front of the bar >my friend helped me order 3 pastor tacos for me and zach to share >finally made it back to our car, said goodbye to everyone 10 or 20 times >Headed to zachs, he wanted to play CS on his gaming rig >everyone had linked back up on discord >I finally got myself a beer >Zach's PC and OLED screen had me awestruck >it's been awhile since I've been impressed with the progress of graphics >I decided 4am was time to go home, it was nice not to worry about it for awhile >20min drive home, listened to Coast-to-Coast radio >made my way to bed as quiet as possible >zzz

>my car was still stranded at my mom's house >wifebot had to drop me off at school >I'll have to ride 2 buses from here back to my mom's >another class back from break half-empty >at least I was doing better in this one >couple friends in here, everyone gotta work >work period, teacher even said we could use headphones >hit up spotify, based rap and drain gang for the creative juice >rest of the class is reading other students work >jump in from time to time when I catch a cool reference >shit, gotta check the bus schedule >45 mins after class >end of class, teacher calls out students with missing assignments >I'm on the list, told her I finished 2 pages today >college has free snacks for students >you wait in line, sign your name, then pick 2 >I went for the cup of noodle, and flicked on the kettle >the only drinks they had were weird vitamin waters >figured it would balance out the meal >I poured hot water in the cup and pinned it with a fork >sat at the bus stop and stirred my food >bus was there quick, lucky he let me bring my food and drink >sat with them on my lap the whole ride >first stop was the "nicer" school, state university >then the train station, hometown >i jumped out and tried to scarf down the noodles >a trolley was timed perfectly to come after this bus >rode it to my old neighborhood, where I saw a friend >Local Vagrant, lives in his car and collects cans >I said whats up and he asked for water >Went to my mom's and came back with a couple waters and my dog >he has a similar breed dog, older, taller, and blind >my told has obvious social issues among other dogs and didn't react well >they sprinted around for a second, mistaking play for threats back and forth >my dog yelped a little too loud and it was over, i know she had fun >gave him water and he gave me a cigarette >finished walking the dog and smoked along >mom was forcing little brother to help with a yardwork job she was doing >convinced him to go and help mom (otherwise I would've had to do it) >told my mom I was gonna sleep, she turned on the fan and closed the blinds >I tried to sleep, but I had projects I wanted to work on >plus my dog wouldn't stop licking my face >would try sleeping for 30mins and then go back to what I was doing >mom and bro got back a little after 4 >I had managed to lose consciousness a little >but no REM Sleep since I didn't take my new med >woke up and Mom offered burritos, so I waited around >i had to grab a few things and ran back and forth a couple times before leaving >barely got home before 6pm, 4 hours before work >thats a solid amound of sleep if I enter REM, need my new med >had to make bed and clean up a bit >just rolling around getting anxious about I could do >need sleep, wifebot home soon, no dinner plans whatsoever >zzz >dreams are intense as usual, starting to blur with reality >wifebot is trying to get my attention but still dreaming >don't know her dinner plan but she disappeared and reappeared with food. >9pm, an hour left before I need to get up >I already have my work clothes on, I think >11pm, woah what?!! >missed calls and text from manager >hazy, can't tell if real >stand up and walk downstairs to put on shoes >missing all my stuff but it doesn't matter because this might be a dream >can't find my keys, that must be the point >I stare at my couch and wonder if I left them in the dream world >the only way to get them back would be to go back to sleep >my face hit the pillow and I was out >zzz >2:30, okay none of that was a dream >lost a bit, no way I really did this >another missed call, text saying they closed the store >sinking realization, fuck, what do I even do >text manager, is it still worth coming in? >as I pulled up, the vagrant guy was waiting for me outfront. >I told him I'd be here and he believed me >just worked what hours I had and did what I could >went straight home

>class is officially back from spring break >not doing awesome grade-wise >half of the class wasn't present when I got there >I wasn't the only one doing shitty >usually kids pick up one of these classes as electives >it can be more work than they expect, and they drop >I got a humungous craving for spicy noodles >after school I ran through a mexican meat market >they obviously had buldak spicy korean noodle, even 2x spicy >also got a pound and a half of chicken for $4 >got home and started the oven >started with hot oil in a pan >cut chicken, seasoned it, toss to fry >put it on boiled noodles with spicy ass sauce >missed call from my boss earlier this morning to call him >ring him asap, nothing serious, but easier if I can go in for a minute >went all the way over there for him to tell me to go online >a promotion was in the air and one step of the process was an internal application >took like 30 minutes to figure out it wasn't working somehow >while I was waiting I checked what was playing at the local theaters >it was $6 box office, and there was some cheap bullshit I wanted to see >crazy AI documentary was about to play >getting nowhere with the application, I split >I got there a few minutes late >AI Doc review >The Drama Review >went to moms after >mom wasnt home >mom parks behind me >neighbors going back and forth >blocked in, tell wifebot to pick me up >run home, change >hanging out with zach later >going back into town anyway >meet at Zach's gf family home >no one there, it echoed and was little bit scary

>depressing turn-out at work last night, holidays are always shitty >ate easter leftovers for lunch, entire food pyramid in a tupperware bowl >feeling great and need to hit gym extra today >crapped out and died yesterday >did an everything day, hit chest really hard >core is what killed me last time >did fine at first, hit a serious limit >felt like i was severed in half, long ways >enough for the day >def got my smoothie and bagel >mocha with a solid coffee taste + peanute butter >perfect amount of fuel for a fatass like myself >don't forget the bagel w shmear >sat outside at little cafe tables >we had shit to do >wifebot had a suprise day off >only chance for us to tackle everything around the house >we planned out our day, split up upstairs and downstairs tasks >I would be lucky if I could sneak in a nap >we were shooting the night scene tonight >and I worked immediately after that >we finished all our grub and set off 4 tha day >drove our seperate cars home, double-parked my own freeway >I got started on laundry, wifebot did dishes >no where to lay down even if i wanted to >need to finish this shit first >finally have a minute to chill >shower now, I literally won't have time later >won't have time to eat either >everything was finished by 1pm >still time for pizza/salad lunch special >didn't even wanna wait and eat there >made to-go salads and ran home >threw it in the fridge and ate half the pizza >needed it in my stomach for the sleeping med >knocked tf out >got about 4 hours of sleep >barely sunset, still got time >pull salad out of fridge and eat >need to be at shoot by 7pm >need to change into warmer clothes >everyone is there already >needed to secure the swingset >grab other half of pizza and go >set is ready and so are actors >get rolling... >beach still pretty crowded this late >scenes running smoothly >good takes, only going 5 or 6 times for each shot >trying to finish tonight, clocks running >missle launch from military base behind us >could actually be the end bruh >pause all production to watch >SpaceX launch apparently >Falcon 9 Rockets >carrying 25 starlink satellites >yeah, right >text from my coworker, might not go into work tonight >that would mean we're closed, I wouldn't work either >keep shooting, I could be here for hours >total nightfall, still some families out >knucklehead teens start a bonfire behind us >start playing loud ass music, laughing like hyenas >gonna fuck with the audio, important monologues happening >their bonfire got pretty out of hand and scared the shit out of them >cops sent out their gay little drones and the kids scrammed >the lighting from the bonfire was honestly crisp >we were finishing the 2nd monologue out of 3 >Light Bar died out >DP says our shot doesn't have any color space >Director says we got this, I'm feeling it >DP is arguing cause he owes his cousin work later >Director thinks it's bs, probably just a chick >I'm trying to wrap this up in case I have to go to my actual real job rn >main light battery is low too >we can finish this actor's segment >bring main light in closer to make up for loss >try not to make it obvious >one more shot >cut in with the camera and the light, nifty close-up >working with what we got >actor's been through some hell today but its done >there are more cops around now, same fucking drones >it was 10pm and we worried they would ticket our cars >then fireworks started going off at the pier >the drones whizzed by >we packed up and I got a call from Zach >my.fucking.savior. >I do NOT work tonight >fuck yes >the shoot was still wraps, but now was time for grub >a crewmate had a curfew and someone had to run him home asap >the rest of us waited in the parking lot and enjoyed the continued fireworks >eventually 2 and then 3 of them were doing foot races to the furthest car and back >I filmed >we settled on meeting at denny's >I scarfed down my leftover pizza on the way >no way was I eating anything at denny's >I ordered another fucking mocha shake cause why not >I sipped and joked with the film crew >started drawing them, only got one half of the table >got home just after midnight >it was dark and quiet >i knocked out >zzzz

>got off work, Easter morning >had to call my grandma, need to know family dinner plans >basic stuff, no biggie >some years it's a whole thing with the cousins and everything >no one cared about easter this year at work, no one had plans >I was not feeling some stupid easter egg hunts >gym again, not alot of other people there >I didn't eat anything yesterday >snacked on bullshit easter candy all night >instant stomach ache trying core exercises >fucking hell, can't finish working out >leave early, no smoothie, no bagel >went home and ate some granola bars >new meds have me sleeping really well >take them and knock out >9pm, definitely missed dinner >slept over 10 hours >need a shower, shave, etc. >still need proper food >missed calls from grandma, mom, and little brother >just stopping by before work at this point >pull up an hour later >mom and bro are waiting, stranded >her car needs a jump >everyone else is asleep >pull in next to her and pop hood >grandma woke up to yell at me for being late >all the leftovers are packed in big tupperwares >she pulls everything out to make me a lunch-bag >Ham, Pot Roast, Stuffing, Potatoes, and green bean casserole >love my grandma's cooking, love my grandma >kiss her goodnight and she yells some more >little brother wants me to drive him home >probably thinks there's shit in my car, nice try >jump my moms car and take off >stop at mom's really quick on the way >head to work

>today is our 7 year anniversary >we met in high school, over instagram DMs >this morning we met at the gym >we had talked about going to LA, long beach or something >we got a smoothie and a bagel and that was it >we didn't wanna do anything else, just be together >I needed to sleep and I needed to try the new sleeping med >stuff like this makes me feel like a guinea pig >took it and drifted off in a solid hour >had crazy dream, some kind of "national treasure" thing >needed to steal some monument from the revolutionary war, bell or something >turned into a wild extravagant chase through a museum >so detailed, and I remembered it all >wifebot woke me up around 7, we had agreed on dinner >fancy mexican place by the water >spicy bean dip and salsa, Fajitas and a burrito >pleasant reminiscing on our life together >me and wifebot aren't actually married yet, soon (i promise) >weird feeling like such old farts >we decided on a boring anniversary and a basic dinner >the 7th time isn't really that special >I still had work >I was well rested and happy

>I didn't wanna wake up this morning >at this point something is definitely wrong >wifebot thinks I should book a telehealth meeting >go through some stupid health app, millenial coded >Health and Wellness, Health and Wellness, Health and Wellness >distractions from how useless these services are >distractions from how much money it costs >luckily I have decent insurance, I'm immune >hour or so of paperwork, questions are very strange >phrased to be re-assuring but takes a completely nuetral tone >felt like evidence of AI design >wifebot helped as much as she could before leaving for work >2 prelim appointments, which I scheduled day-of somehow >tell doc my problems, mostly the sleep stuff going on right now >blood pressure med to help with nightmares and quality-of-sleep >yeah I could use that, starts tomorrow >went back to sleep >need to pick those new meds up >met wifebot at work, dinner time >beer/wings got cancelled last week, tonight was the night >Wings, a beer, potato wedges, and mozarella sticks >it was our anniversary tomorrow, this was kinda the dinner >wanted dessert, decide to get cookie dough >stopped at ralphs, chocolate chip and sugar cookie dough >start oven and put dough on baking sheet >only takes like 30 minutes >work in an hour, i have time

>i woke up still asleep >spring break, no class >wouldn't have went anyway >barely woke up to say bye when wifebot left for work >I still haven't eaten >all I've done is sleep and all i need is sleep >uh oh, I think i'm fucked up >hyper-somnia, it happens now and again >sleep, sleep, sleep some more >migraines, nightmares, sweat >did nothing, absolutely nothing >noon passed, I was hungry, I should've eaten >2pm, I could play games with my friends >the clock in real life is getting mixed up with the clock in my dreams >passed 5pm, i think >I could get up and work on the website >I could play games >I scrolled on my phone any time I was awake long enough >back to sleep >7pm, wifebot will be home at some point, I'll have to get up >dinner has to be easy, quick >don't want wifebot to know I've been sleeping all day >start boiling water for noodles >throw chicken patties in the air-fryer >salt, butter, milk >flip patties in air fryer >grab buns, cook with patties for last couple minutes >drain noodles and start mac n cheese sauce >add noodles back in >pull chicken sanwiches out, plate >mix mac n cheese, bowl >wifebot home, perfect timing >keeping myself up long enough to eat only >injesting pure fuel, i've been running on fumes >still not enough energy to live >just sleep, keep sleeping

>barely made it through work, extremely tired >went straight home, didn't eat anything, went to bed >2pm, had to piss or something >night scene tonight, so I have until sunset >5pm, feeling gross af, can't get up >need to shower before going on set tonight >throbbing migraine, head stuck to pillow >can't feel it in my sleep >need to sleep >6pm, sun still out, dont need to get up >6:30 >6:45, shit, still need to shower >pry myself out of bed, freezing cold >gonna get colder by the beach, grab warm clothes >leave my house just after 7, pay parking at the beach >help set up, had to wait for kids to clear the swingset >new lighting system is fire, bright af but no tone, pure white light >we have an additional lighting guy who's holding an orange light bar >put me on clacker duty, writing scene/take number >3-8 takes per shot, try for 2 "that's the one" takes, then 2 safetys >cold and tired, we left the light on too long between takes >at one point a Tweaker couple encroached and started networking >plugged his "graphic design" page, did flyers and stuff >his chick said she oranized car shows and meetups, lowriders and stuff >ngl I had to hover over the cam and stuff in case they grabbed something >they were harmless, but we had to keep rolling and they kept wanting to talk >just past 9, the light bar died, and the guy holding it wanted to go home >it fucked with the continuity, but director wanted to keep going >10 minutes later, the big light ran out of battery too >it was wraps, we called it and said goodbye >I was beyond tired, wifebot still needed to eat >just picked her up for a quick mcdonalds run and back home >plowed through a mcchiken/mcdouble combo and a couple leftover beers >it honestly helped my headache, but I still really wanted to sleep >my body was in a weird state, I was honestly rested, but I felt weak >food was insufficient, i was suffering some weird energy deficit >laid in bed for an hour, couldn't form thoughts, couldn't get comfortable >tired and can't sleep >got up, took a break >grandparents gifted me a half-bottle of "2 buck chuck" >drink a couple glasses of red wine >practice guitar through headphones >the pain in my mind subscedes >I think I can rest now

>After work I stopped at my moms to get my mail >my dog was overjoyed to see me >when we went out for a walk, she sat and lingered around my car >her way of communicating that she wants to go to my house >I had plans but having her wouldn't be a big deal >Ramsey Robinson, a candidate for California Governor, was in town >from the peace and freedom party, technically my representative >A local org was hosting him at a beach-park >It was a rally, he had a speech, and I could take pictures >a quick interview would be awesome, maybe just random testimonies >having the pup with me might help, its a big park also >got a special harness and leash for her, head home >she recognizes the neighborhood after a certain turn, excited >walk her around her usual route, explores a litte further each time >wifebot getting ready for work, make us toast, make sausage for dog >I showered and went to rest, needed to clock a couple hours before work tonight >wake up to face licks >4pm, shit >Park event was at 1pm, secondary one downtown at 6 >stuck between either of those but I might as well try the park ASAP >get myself and dog ready, there in 20 mins >no rally, no-one from the org >dog is happy, just here to walk her lol >go to beach, sand dunes she can bunny jump through >didn't wanna pay parking, can't stay for long >Also had dinner plans at 6, complete conflict >I could show up the second event early, look like a bozo, leave early >second event was at a residential spot on a main street, cant bring dog >just head to my mom's house to drop her off >hang out there until 6pm >supposed to be beer/wings with wifebot >call from wifebot, now it's sushi with her fam, whoops >fine dinner, yummy food >easy family updates on life-happenings >sushi ftw >need to sleep before work, head home >zzz...

>wifebot has the day off, not much to do today >clean up a little and think of something to do >Bins >Toppers >Mewgenics >homework >sleep >work

>supposed to meet wifebot at the gym after work >think she slept through it... >not far from mom's house, go there for awhile >took my dog for a walk around the block, fed her >pet the cat till it gets too fiesty >little brother wakes up, it's not spring break >agree to take him to school >wake up my mom to tell her, she hands me burger king coupons >"grab breakfast while you're out" >me and lil bro split up to use 2 coupons, 4 croissan'wich meals w/ OJ, $17 >he chows his down before I drop him off at the high school >spring break is next week, shit >I have to turn in all my assignments >drop off my mom's food and head home >meals for me and wifebot >everything is due by midnight Sunday, like 60 hours from now >need to get studious quick >make a list of all the assignments I need to turn in, ~10 basic writing prompts >half of which are already done on paper and just need to digitize >get to work >sleepy >zzz >

>I slept through class and the whole day yesterday >I'm gonna miss class again today >promised Zach I would drive his gf to LA for a tattoo appointment >offered a full tank of gas and a meal >plus he suffered thru chatsworth with me >LA allows for a bit more free expression >red Camo pants and a special HAGGUS T-shirt I can't rock here >I left my house at 9:50 >Swooped Zach +gf and immediately plugged him into aux(bluetooth adapter) >Filled my gas tank up at the cheapest place (A "Vons express" that also sells alcohol) >She handed Zach her card which he handed to me >10 Gallons >$57 >$5.55/gal with a rewards number >drive was smooth, light traffic and music chat >car needs to run slow anyway, kept up about 65-70mph >First sign of LA was AI Advertisements >Second sign was graffiti >for whatever reason, never did the 2 mix :?? >Studio City is a short cut off We-Ho but sits atop DTLA >It is aptly named, the perfect hotspot for a bunch of quirky artists >The Studio was "Proud of You LA" >Same place Zach got his forearm blasted in September last year >his artist was from Korea >the place hosts artists from everywhere >the artist today was from Brazil >She got checked in with Zach >I took a huge dump in their bathroom >I got to see the initial placement >a full coyote howling into a glaring moon up her bicep >once things were rolling me and Zach had a complete other mission to take care of >Zach has a circuit bent RCA adapter coming in custom from an artist on IG >it plugs into those old school fat-back tvs, the CRT >for whatever reason, we thought we'd have an easy time finding one in LA >because we were close to downtown LA, we checked the "international markets first" >le maps said there were some electronics repair shops bundled up >turned out to be a trippy wholesale mall that went underground to a parking garage >homeless people and garbage lined the street and below was the real life equivalent to TEMU >it was clear these places specialized in quick-fix chineseium products, enshittified >what we were looking for was actually a rarity, they said we might find one at goodwill >a block down was a shiny goodwill, like a prada outlet among these street vendors >this Goodwill has to be well known, swag wise, it was picked dry >some lcd flatscreens, but not quite what we needed >we didn't want anything with an hdmi hook-up >some research came up with a place in Glendale >it was a bit of a drive but my tank was still suprisingly full >the city is something to behold, I should've stopped for more photos >a 20 minute drive landed us at a storage lot >definitely no fucking electronics shop >probably some hobbyist running out of a unit >asked the front desk, didn't know anything >I hope they get nosy and find whoever posted it >pass by "Evidence Camera", go-to's for camera rentals, professional grade >couple other places nearby, another goodwill and some "upcycle" bullshits >largest goodwill I've ever seen, it had 3 entrances >the normal thrift store part, same selection as the other one downtown >the next section was the "depot", and it was literally giant blue bins >a line of resellers and moms marched and dug for gold in mounds of clothes >the last building was called Goodwill "Ecommerce", which must be their ebay wing >Kept moving to a second-hand shop down the road >non-existent, arrived at the pin and found no signs or labeled entrance >knocked on some kind of door and some Glendale natives opened up >might've been actual actors, looked kinda familiar >knew nothing about a second-hand shop >next place was called "EcoSet" >A prop house where, everything was free? >by appointment only, they deconstruct old sets and resell them >it's $30 to book but you can grab and go with whatever they got >crazy concept, something to keep in mind >Romantix Adult Video and Gift Center >A sheet-metal barn with a flat-red sign across from goodwill >it's mere existence was a wonder >Zach was hesitant and I told him to stay outside >He followed me in anyway, which was pretty embarassing >skimpy outfits hung on racks and dildos lined the walls >the employee was a normal chick, who wore a mask >in the back was an old guy, also masked with a baseball cap >he browsed the Porno DvDs, I really wondered if he knew about the internet >each was about $10, they were sectioned off by kinks or orientation >the only entries of note were the nostalgic parody movies with goofy titles >they had dolls and rubber toys that ranged $50-$300 >a lot of the packaging was AI, or had stupid attempts at sex humor >the magazines were a trip, in terms of classical media, these magazines are special >a couple entered the store after us and the man joked loudly with her >before I left he read parts of my shirt outloud but specifically picked: >"Fuck Trump, that one motherfucker" >He seemed to like the shirt, I told him it was beligerant music >"I'm an Army Veteran, I'm 59 but you wouldn't know it. I got my 38yo girlfriend with me" >She was trying on langerie in a fitting room >"I been in the movie business" >I pointed at hollywood and said "the movie business?" >I pointed to the inside of the store and said "or movie business?" >He laughed and said "that one motherfucker" >It was an utter loss trying to find a fucking TV >We tried an AV Music Store called "Mikey's Hook-up" >He sent us to a video store called "WHAMMY!" >They had a wall of CRTs but none for sale >We called it quits and found one on eBay >I wanted to film skating down Echo Park >Sidewalk was too thin and occupied by teens, gordos, and moms pushing strollers >made it back to Tattoo shop, hungry >Tribal Cafe, I ate there last time I was here >this mf owes me a meal >their menu is miles long with funny names for everything >order the "We are the 99%" chicken Banh mi Sandwich >bomb ass fucking sandwich, would recommend >some kind of group is meeting behind us >couple of them are actors? small-time producers? >they do Open Mic night at this place, Wednesdays >they improv'd some kind of small-talk, shit in the news, set stories >we were sitting behind the "stage" and had to gtfo before they started >before we left they stopped us and asked if we had any talents for the open mic >I could've grabbed my guitar and played my 2 songs >the day was enough of an adventure up until then >told them we had to go >the tattoo was finished just after 5, it looked dope >we set off back home >same graffiti, same traffic, same AI billboards >I got home by 7 and fell asleep >I needed some rest, I still had fucking work that night... >wifebot woke me up with chicken noodle soup >it was 10, I had to leave >i tried to eat my soup while I drove, I spilt some in my lap

>met wifebot at gym after work >still working on article from yesterday >gym is hard today, feels like I need to push harder >protein shake after >sat with wifebot and a bagel >update on life and stuff that's been happening >car full of friends calls out my name >drainreporter and a mob of goons >doperific, the other josh was there >a local who moved away was back in town >Smoothyspoon, a "drip master", if you will... >they are also getting bagel as I'm leaving >isac is waiting at my house, left a switch controller or something >tell him about yesterday, Marxist School and all "221. Because of the restrictions placed on their thoughts and behavior by their high level of socialization, many leftists of the over-socialized type cannot pursue power in the ways that other people do. For them the drive for power has only one morally acceptable outlet, and that is in the struggle to impose their morality on everyone." -Theodore Kaczynski >the unibomber's manifesto starts strong and gets progressively unhinged as it goes on >the last section, "the dangers of leftism" is it's most flawed and logically inconsistent passage >Line 221 however repeated in my head as conversations dragged on at the RCA meeting yesterday >the "over-socialized type" that Ted described in the 90s might not quite exist anymore >perhaps I exist in a growing "under-socialized type" which our society now produces en masse >we went to Isac's truck where he had a book for me >Apocalypse Culture, 1989 >an anthology of the ugliest thoughts from a decade of hate >some saw the 80's like we see now >complete societal decay around every corner, aesthetic decay >the 90's inherited the corpse of something that was long dead >this book is a snapshot of the schizoid experience of the under-socialized and over-exposed >that experience is much more common today >and yet, no social order which can combat such an illness without negating it altogether >Isac left and I needed to get some sleep >7pm, film crew was meeting at the beach >it was overcast so we weren't gonna get the shot >did an hour of rehearsals with our actors >we talked about if the sunset was worth the trouble >if we all chipped in for lights, we could just shoot a night scene >I chipped in $40 and we were able to get $200 portable lights >I grabbed jack in the box on my way home >I wanted to get what little sleep I could, but I ate instead >I couldn't remember if it was spring break or not >I didn't bother checking, I wasn't going >work tonight, then sleep tomorrow

>really did sleep away the entirety of yesterday >feeling better now, woke up early >up and made sandwiches for breakfast >open afternoon, check the timeline >Local org hosting class event, same time wifebot goes to work >finished getting ready, really didn't rush >head out >big parking lot outside a community building >clearly some kind of event >walk up to attendant by front gate >JW lanyard, asked me if I was registered >I'm at the wrong entrance, wrong event >security escorts me through a courtyard to a big room >empty but I hear voices, then clapping >find a side room with a piece of paper taped to the door >same flyer I saw on Instagram >"Revolutionary Communists of America: Marxist Day-School" >interrupted but didn't disrupt anything >it was the middle of their talk on "The Militant Tendency" >Celeste was speaking, we had met before >they had coffee so I took an opportunity to grab some >it was a history of the party and a bio on some of the founding thought leaders >Ted Grant and Alan Woods >U.K. Trotskyists I've done some cursory research on >Major theory leaders after Trotsky's death, mostly writers and publishers >history of different beefs with student groups and leagues >warnings about Ultra-leftism >warnings about beauricratic bloat and "substitutionalism" >project to approach reading and writing as praxis, to be "Proletarian in Composition" >organizing principles were solid, well thought out, but limited >allowed time for QnA, and addendums called "interventions" >lunch time? it is school I guess >immediate breakout convos, very pro-social thing I wasn't used to >It was alot of info to process, but they were very eager to expound any detail >lot of creative energy there >bought some research materials they were selling >chipped in a couple bucks for pizza >second discussion was "The Teamsters Strike of 1934" >they gave a "finance appeal" and passed around a donation basket >the gave a "membership appeal" >continued a few conversations, longer than I thought I would >I bought 2 of their newspapers >talked to me awhile about joining >for the sake of maintaining my journalistic integrity, better that I dont >secondary hangout afterwards, a "beer social" at the collection >just spent the last 5 hours here talking/listening to everyone >I have other things to do :/ >wifebot called me on my way home >off early, hungry >need to sleep before my shift >

>didn't get as much done last night >guess I was just too casual about it >boss was not as happy today as yesterday >don't know what to say >only capable of certain amount of effort each day >meeting wifebot at gym, time to kill >read articles from The New Atlantis & Katherine Dee (default friend) >both of them narrow down the state of subculture "prole-ification" >mostly it focuses on a new rural social class, deemed "diner-goths" >first article describes these areas as "cultural deserts" >2020 marked an end point where the internet flooded in to fill that void >second article points out that subcultures always existed in the middle of nowhere >always 1 weeb or goth with an internet connection in every town >then why do we see more of them now? >because it turned out to be marketable >both articles agree: "mall-goth essentials became walmart essentials" >thinking about it on the treadmill >its hard to think and exercise, I guess thats the idea >chill tf out >get a smoothie >get a bagel >wifebot is off to work >just go straight home >settle into desktop workstation >new Dylan Brady mix, what a gec >need to get this blog deployable, scale-able, responsive >just fucking with css styles atp >each change is either a revelation or complete disaster >workflow >2hrs pass and I'm running out of things to tweak >fighting the urge to add anything new >what's there is fine... >hope so... >friends later, we'll see what they think >friends later >need to sleep now >couple hours, need every second >hear friends in garage around 5 >shit, need to show them the site >need energy boost, quick shower >bring everyone up to see blog >cool, bed time >roomate offers a beer >car stuff getting done in our garage >stand and sip a beer like King of the Hill for 20-30 minutes >Nah, need to sleep. >8pm, wifebot is home, wakes me up >more friends are here, need to show them the website >people drinking, smoking, having fun >damn I gotta work on a friday... >1st Angel is here, 2nd is on his way apparently >Others had scattered around >there are burgers and hotdogs cooking on the stove >counting every minute till I have to leave >low battery mode, still trying to have fun >taking breaks to lay down >10pm, still need to deploy website >Export, Zip, and upload... >Hello World >at 10:05pm March 20th 2026 the blog you're reading went live >then I went to work >really bad sleep routine for the day >need the entire day tomorrow for R&R >I'll probably sleep from the second I'm off until I have to leave again for work.

>got a lot done that night at work >boss was genuinely impressed >wasn't supposed to be here but he was covering >serious talk with me before I leave: >wants "flexibility" for the scheduling >doesn't get much more flexible than graveyard >says he'll finally move me up, something about my coworker >"i guess it's an open secret" >oh shit, this coworker had been looking for other work >was he leaving and I was taking his place? >"is he transferring" >"what? no, to another store?" >"oh, he'd mentioned something about it" >he had, and he also told me not to tell the boss >"No that's not happening," >"he's gonna be a poppa." >"so we have 8 months, but we gotta get you trained up." >shit, just sold out my coworker >for a raise maybe in the next 6-9 months >at least it'd be something >brain buzzing a bit from such a day and night and morning >rush home, completely forgot to go to store >wifebot wanted tacos for dinner >needed meat and ceviche >shit, I'll get it later >can't smoke can't smoke can't smoke >cold hard shower >2 melatonin caps >Knock the fuck out >wake up 7pm, wifebot almost home >use her car to run to Meat market >1 libra de carne y 1 libra de camaron >got what I needed this time >get home and whip up tacos >shell >seasoned beef >ceviche on top >hot sauce/sour cream >haven't thought about the website all fucking day >thats okay, don't worry about it tonight >got regular work to worry about >leave at 10pm

>barely woke up in time for class, still made it >professor's gonna be on a yap session today >101 stuff, things I learned last semester >actually work on scripts, funny >swap between screenplay script and website script >they sent a whole highschool class to come visit our building >they lined them up in the back looking at our screens >knew 100% they would say something dumb >scroll to blank page and avoid eye-contact >fortnite jokes and such a stank of cheap colognes >got home and we both wanted poke >we sat and ate there >another couple was eavesdropped on our conversation >came up and said some random shit, manic or something >looked up any new Liquidation Stores (aka the Bins) we haven't checked out yet >805 Liquidations >first one I've seen with boxes of parishable foods >tons of boxed pasta, cereals, expired jars of pickles >found a clive barker book >found a floor-standing microphone holder >see another one on google >Fun & Find, other side of town >we'll check it out >address leads to random grocery store >this one doesn't fucking exist I guess >went back home to keep playing Mewgenics >fucked up my run from last night >fuck it, new save >wifebot swears she would be good at game if I teach her >backseat game for a few levels, not quite getting it >wifebot falls asleep >managed to fuck up this second run >work tonight, I need to sleep too >10pm, dude I never wanna leave ever >pry myself out from my comfy bed >need my shirt out of her car >in garage, found Japanese Koolz >damn I miss my friend >smoke one on the way to work >fuck man, tired, shit sucks >get straight to work, stock stock stock >customers are chill somehow and I manage to be productive...

>woke up to a whatsapp call from Japan >MY GOAT, reporting for duty >TOKYO:11pm >CALIFORNIA:6am >"Good Morning Bruh" >Bro's got updates >he's in all kinds of trouble >lost a sweet one over a Lana Del Ray argument, caught some strays >barely following cuz it's so early, 4hrs of sleep >but Logan-san just made it home from his latest hang-out bar >says they should just hire him "that would be dope" >could be a sweet gig, esp with tips :l >"nah, they don't do that" :o >LMFAO, my baka westoid brain >fill him in on my bullshit >we're both working towards such big things >Most of my effort goes towards my paycheck, liquidity >He operates purely on status, I envy his pursuit >We talked about language, i gotta up my game before I get out there >just talking in general, i gotta get social and fast >Everything culminating for this summer, so many peoplWe to meet >"still got dinner plans after this, ttyl" >well, it's 7-fucking-am >class in 3 hours >wifebot wants to go to gym :s >ig im already fucking awake >2nd day at gym, still doing basics >drop her straight off at work after >drive her car to class, main lot, no parking pass >talk about budgeting in class >ok, might wanna pay attention to this one >take off, no ticket on her car >home and just want to finish website >4 hours of work, same amount I slept >eyes heavy,,, zzz >7pm, shit >I have her car, she's off at 7 >DASH AFAP >20 mins late, my bads... >cook dinner and eat over computer >roommate gifted me a copy of Mewgenics >(new game from Binding of Isaac Team) >Turn-based tile combat, little army of cats >i'm actually buns at these >cute as shit, funny as hell >don't pick favorites >crazy rng on some levels >Swap between this and web-dev... >4am, wifebot makes me go to bed

>my eyes crusted open at 1pm, couldn't get tf up >I weaned in and out of sleep while subtly planning my day in my head >so many fucking chores, self-care, just basic shit to function >don't know if I have the energy today >probably needed to eat something, desperately >at 2:30 I finally lugged myself out of bed and straight into the kitchen >A campbells chicken noodle soup was gonna be the basic sustenance I needed >I didn't feel much better honestly, but I was up and I had eaten >needed to clean my room first >especially the bed I'd been rotting in the last 10 hours >started rotating loads of laundry like a production line >Washer, dryer, fold, put away >Washer, dryer, fold, put away >its like 3:30, they needed help on set at 4 >fuck man do I have to? shoot the man a text >doesn't need me till 7 >first time I've actually felt fucking better >last load of laundry is just blankets >all my clothes are folded and put away >grab an outfit and finally take a fucking shower >trim, shave, buzz >face wash, beard treatment >everything man, I cut my nails and shit >feel fucking new >about an hour to spare >havent even thought about the website >guilt >guiltyplanet >meet all the crew at the beach, we're not filming today >it's the final scene and we wanna get it right >doing a line read and some blocking, just rehearsals >I'm a script supervisor, so I'm taking notes on everything >it's a very sentimental scene, we're shooting it last for a reason >these actors have been working together for 4 months now >the bond over time has really shown on the screen >this is the pinnacle of that >I think everyone's got it >they just have to pass the blunt back and fourth at the right lines >didn't have time to cook anything >me and wifebot just do a drive thru >I'm back on my laptop and smiling friends is on in the background

>left work jumping and kicking my heels >3 nights off, what a dream >the website is getting finished >wifebot is gonna meet me over here to go to the gym >it's a new thing, only gone a couple of times >I've gone before, used to be consistent >it's awkward, especially when it's been awhile >the early morning hours are mostly oldies, thank god >we just listened to our music and used our machines and didn't pay much mind to it >it was nice to get something physical out of the way early >i definitely wasn't doing shit the rest of the day >glued to my laptop for a couple hours till my eyes got heavy >woke up to throw chicken sandwiches in the fryer for dinner >still focused, need to be writing >eat and chill while wifebot watches TV >I kept my laptop open next to me and it whined at me when I looked away too long >she eventually knocked out and the lights/sounds of the computer were a little disruptive >I moved onto my PC in the other room and honestly needed a break from the website stuff >decided to play some demos for upcoming games I'm excited about >new one just dropped, 10HIT, stylistic, physics-based shooter from cool indie dev >it's similar to another one: WORLD OF DOGS, much grimier >"ANGEL" which was a new ambient breakcore track racer, some kind of rythym mechanics that didnt hit >Caravan Sandwitch, a pretty unique zelda-clone that's on sale, I'd rather finish TOTK or replay BOTW honestly >Motorslice, a slick action-platformer that's smooth and fun, still in development but can't wait for more >METAMORPHOSIS, an old EXE-looking horror sidescroller that has neuropathic scares, good shit

>fuck, late start from the night before >wifebot has day off, she's lucky >still, only day to get shit done >desperately need groceries >it costs almost $300 to feed us 2 for about a month >we split it >first stop, Trader joes: -fruits and vegetables -frozen meals -frozen fish -TJ brand shit you can only get there >everything else, winco -meats -milk, cheese, butter -bread -canned food -pantry fillers >shouldn't have gone to Trader joes first >gotta get the cold stuff home before it melts >unload and eat a snack >still so fucking tired, need to nap before work >frozen Jambalaya and shrimp for dinner, just panfried >have to go to fucking work >saturdays are busy as hell >everyone left braincells at home apparently >old senile fuck wanders in, gash on forehead talking nonsense >grabs cart, insists he just needs a couple things >mobility scooter parked in front >might've escaped the nursing home >fills up his cart all the way, tell him he's gotta wrap it up >brings cart to the front, disappears >meanwhile, I have other work to get done, can't babysit someone's grandpa >hear scurfuffle in corner of the store >this guy has a second cart filled all the way up too, overflowing even >TIME TO GO >brings everything up, swears he's gonna buy it >SHIT WONT EVEN FIT ON HIS SCOOTER >he got defensive and even said he'd take multiple trips if he had to >start ringing him up >scanned $800 dollars worth of shit, dying just trying to bag everything >right at the end, old guy smiles at me >"whoops, forgot my wallet at home, I'll have to be right back" >piss blood and die you geriatric fuck

>today is the motherfuckin day >buddy Ben aka drainreporter aka MACH5 is DJing tonight in LA >it's an awesome genre, unapologetically "2010's" style edm >line-up is interesting, so is the venue >"pour vous", hole in the wall bar in WeHo, higher-end spot >need to work on the site but need to sleep more... >7pm, wifebot is home and needs to get ready >fuck man, still sleepy >8pm, shit gotta get tf up and get ready for this shit >picking up zach and gf, tell them 9pm >means I got 45mins to get ready and head out >leave closer to 8:55, fuck it, we run on josh-time >by 9:30 we're on the freeway towards LA >club is less than an hour away, shouldn't be a big deal >classic landmarks and graffiti and smell of entering LA >WeHo is poppin, driving in this city is scary but I just pretend it's GTA >sketchy street parking it is >never know if I'm more worried about getting bipped or ticketed here >BOOM! club is poppin >$5 cover and security is trippin >weird fuckers on the door, sneako-looking goofballs >told us it was cash only, then told the people behind us that they took venmo or zelle >didn't pat anyone down or ask any real questions, most bribable bouncers I've ever seen >definitely fake ID's getting through, or hot enough he didn't even check >inside, I was seriously looking at the pinnacle of LA niche EDM culture in this moment >clock has definitely turned back, everything is Sleazed out >the french-deco and parisian themes were reminiscent of an era defined by Aesthetic Decay >these trends suffer a form of regression until they eventually dissolve >at the height of this, is the charming rot of los angeles >everything in that room was some centerpoint of culture, fighting to stay alive >the sprawling collapse of subculture was sprayed over the room, staining the drapes and carpet >it was intense, and the first DJ was carrying that with blunt rythyms and clipped, peaking melodies >it was all turned to 11 >it was a hard enviroment to be sober in, you were immediately out of place >the crowd was statuesque, the sea of curation was intimidating >some of the egos in that room were so dense you risked falling into their orbit just standing too close >in my head, I floated above it >up there, I found my friends who ran around like school children somewhere they weren't supposed to be >we all had a right to be there, we were all there for one reason >I bounced around awhile waiting for Ben's set >then it started... >MACH5 >the whole room leveled out to the mix on his laptop >the vibe had a significant increase >I bobbed my head on the outside rim of the crowd >I moved more and more as I got further in >it was uncontrollable, compulsive >every new sample built the hype >the groove grew and kicked and fell and kicked and grew again >eventually I made it to the front where I could see the magic happening >someone's iphone flashlight was the lifeblood of the set >the intricate fucking with knobs and levels of a DJ performing his art >couple clicks on the laptop, a fader and some effects >everyone else danced in destructive chaos, pure fun >here, a tinkerer was building something in his lab >the beat lived while this surgeon performed open heart surgery in front of everyone >another artist started tapping him on the shoulder and whispering stuff in his ear >he carefully dismantled his node from the complex sound system without disturbing the music >Cheers and Laughter and Dancing >Mach5 >there was more that night, other sets >Ben would even go on again later as backup for another artist >I was designated driver and I was responsible for an entire car of people >I found them getting hammered at the bar still >that was probably it for the night >we waited up for Ben, I hung around with my friends and reveled in the hype >when Ben was done, we gave him high-fives and hugs, he did awesome >we took pictures >I had to go... >the ride home was short, just breakcore and drunken chatter in my backseat >after dropping everyone off, me and wifebot drove home in silence >slept like a mf baby

>Dad finally sent me birthday money >$100 >I'll take it, definitely helps, i guess >called me up too after work >it's hard to fill him in, just wants everything to be good >I mean, things are good >still, its not fair >compared to how things have been in the past, everything is peachy >but when the words come out of my mouth, it just sounds okay >stability isn't my normal state, this is as good as it gets >don't know if I'll be able to make him see that >I'd hope he'd understand

>311 day, vibing with the energy today >ez class this morning >walked around campus to brainstorm plotlines with homies >otherwise, just focused on the website today >proper music can get me in a flowstate >311 >mental load of learning everything for the website is tiring man >need to rest before work, maybe wifebot will bring home dinner >BOOM! wake up to chipotle, 9pm >have to go to work but tummy is full >ask all my regulars at work if they know what day it is >311 baby

>production class this morning >feeling like a productive day but I don't have anything in particular >been in talks with some local musicians about starting a band >hasn't gone anywhere yet really >hit them up to tell them I'm free today >couple of them can meet at 5, the rest dont answer >told them to meet me in the parking lot of the collection >gone here in the past to practice acoustic music with a friend before >im supposed to be drummer, I brought a kick, practice pad, and sticks >also brought my guitar, don't know if we're gonna jam but might as well bring >got my spot and I was obviously the first one >run down to grab some food, some nasty corndogs from this new trendy spot >1 guy has arrived by the time I get back to my car, cool guy supposed to do vocals >offered him a corndog, talked about bands we liked and what we wanna sound like >second guy got there, guitarist, he's putting the whole thing together and he's pretty hype >lots of solid taste and vision from these guys >got out my guitar to show some tones and different keys we could start with >only one who brought an instrument, they mostly wanna talk >chick in the band can't make it today >we wanna pick a new name but we all wanna be together before making a decision like that >decide on 3 tracks, an ep >all loose, weird feeling but we couldn't finalize anything >need a proper jam and decision-making session >they've got connects at CSUN, apparently some kind of music department with equipment >we agreed on saturday, and sent a text to the groupchat for the rest >nobody responded... >playing instruments for 6 years now, this is how every band effort has gone >music career is over b4 it started bros...

>busy day so I needed some rest >woke up at 2:30, need to help with a shoot at 3 >hoping to cut my hair first, only have time to shower >meet the crew outside a smoke shop for the first location >owner is a jolly old guy named jesus, sold me an arizona and slimjim >we shot next to a busy street with an actor dressed homeless >city-goers were having funny reactions, like we were news or something >we needed to pick somewhere for the second location >I remembered an old abandoned parking lot we used to have shows at >take everyone there >funny cause there's an actual homeless camp here >we got our shots and someone managed to score some beers >with shooting wrapped we hung out and talked about high school stories >I left around 5:50 cause I was supposed to meet my other friend at the courts >I picked him up and we shot some hoops, talked alot about art and politics >time ran past 7, forgot I had to run to the grocery store for tacos >just needed a couple things so I ran through >needed some ceviche at the meat market, but they only speak spanish >I wanted Fish and Shrimp together, I called the shrimp "gamba" instead of "camaron" >just got a pound of fish ceviche, but alright >got home by 8pm and started cooking >no work tonight but I need to focus on the website

>wifebot has the day off and wanted poke sooo bad this morning >we sat and ate at the local poke place for a while, planned the rest of the day >there was a goodwill around the corner >the clothes are hit and miss >someone's manga collection had been donated, 1 entire series, sort-of degen honestly >there were a couple other cool books so I thought maybe I'd save the manga >wifebot veto'd >I did also find a giant digital art canvas, apparently worth like $150 >bought it for $10 >next we went to the bins, dug around for a long time >we got a TENS muscle spasm machine >giant Warhammer 40,000 figure >starlink router(missing the aentenna) >that was pretty much it for the day >I have work tonight and I just need to get some sleep before then >we got some ice cream before heading home >the metals from the fish help me sleep so well >zzz >woke up and went to work

>I ran to Von's after work to get essentials for burgers >I don't have any other food at my house so I needed each part >Meat,Cheese,Buns and lettuce >Didn't buy beer cause I know I can steal some from my mom's house >get in and take the dog for a walk >when I get back and look in the fridge, jackpot, motherload >my neighbors must have had a carne asada and had a bunch left over >I took 3 Modelo, 3 Pacifica, 3 Coronas, and 3 805s >basically a 12 pack >go home and lay everything out, get it ready for 5pm >tired asf, shower off the night before and get into cozy pajamas >zzz >call at 5pm from friend pulling up outside >I had clothes ready but I let him in really quick before changing >time for to prep burgers into meatwads then press and season them >roomate helps cut lettuce, tomatoes, and onions >all the while more people are pulling up >Isac, James, Ben, 2 guys named Angel, and another guy named josh > + roomates but I didn't give them much heads-up and it was getting loud >move everyone outside to grill patties >meat shrinks a bunch, should've gotten leaner beef, the 20% fat burns off >prep buns and pass out plates >slide my meat in EVERYONE's buns >the other josh also has ribs he's gonna grill up >once everyone has some burger I clear off the grill and steamclean it >josh starts ribs as wifebot gets home >I just woke up and started cooking >everyone wants to go to the bar but I need finish my basic hygene and shit >order some ubers to the bar, the 2 couples split one. >driver is old religious nut, kept talking to us but it was fine >the bars in town are millenial hotspots >each has different pour levels, we get one drink at each usually >at the very end of the strip is the gay bar, we got no problems going in there >obv has the best music, only music we can really dance to >tried to play pool together but old lady was only taking 1v1s >I went up against her and she schooled me, excuse was obv my hand being broken >ordered a second uber home

>I left work hyped as hell >tickets for "Snuffed on Sight" tonight >HxC band I've seen a couple times already, always a gnarly pit >couple years ago, guy dressed as batman pulled up >a shirt of theres has been a permanent addition to my wardrobe since >needed to make sure I got sleep now, this shit was gonna tire me out >hit up little brother before I passed out >I was 15 when I went to my first show >he's been asking alot about what I used to do in high school >Punk and Hardcore shows was it for me, socially at least >he's gonna go, gotta pick him up at 6 for a 7pm show >zzz >calls me at 5, then again at 5:30 after I had woken up >asked me what to wear >something you can take a beating in, that you don't mind getting dirty >gotta head over to pick him up >was planning on getting food but he'd already eaten >when we got there, we ran through the corner store for energy drinks and water >I was explaining alot of punk etiquette to him, he asked what the rules were >told him he was young and small enough that it didn't really matter >he's a little gymrat so he roidraged over me calling him small >I tried to explain that it's a question of mass in there, no weight classes or nothing >a couple fat dudes walked by, definitely heading to the show, I pointed them out to him >"are they all gonna be that big?" he asked >as we waited for the first band, i saw him looking tiktoks of mosh pits >the social enviroment was weird for him, even tho he's pretty popular >none of that mattered when we walked in and pinned ourselves against a wall next to the stage >first band is a local fav, adapted from an abandoned shoegaze band >we were one row behind but a couple people jumped over or kicked high enough to hit us >you always wanna look tough, but it's hard not to smile when crazy shit happens >Little brother told me he liked the music, and I could tell there was some adrenaline pumping >I'm glad I was technically straight-edge for this show, its been awhile >Back in the day that adrenaline rush was enough to get me through weeks of school and shit at home >it was definitely coming back to me right then too >we didn't talk to anybody but I pointed out my friends, people he might've met before >a couple bands in, Isac showed up, him and aiden go wayy back >I still had work at 10:30, and I wanted to get food before I dropped my brother off >I really wanted to hear Snuffed on Sight, but it was 9:30 and they hadn't started yet >we decided on Denny's for dinner but we'd have to leave soon >music started playing, we could stay for 10 minutes >the last set is always the craziest, we were packed like sardines, no respect for personal space >we head off at 10 and called our denny's order in for take-out >stupid AI lady on the line >Moons over My Hammy sandwich >lumberjack slam with a milkshake >grabbed the food and dropped him off at home >had a quick second to grub before throwing on my work shirt and heading in >first customers were some tall white guys, heard one of them mention a show >asked them about it, yup, same show >I lifted my work shirt to show my Snuffed on Sight one underneath >I just came straight from there and clocked in lmao...

>Today's payday, but it is completely random when the check hits my bank >its also one of those odd months where I get paid a couple days AFTER bills are due >account is overdrawn >the thought of leaving the house today is grueling >still in bed at 9:50, my screenwriting class is at 10 >car is low on gas and parked a block over >no free spots means I have to buy a day-pass (psych!) >late but made it to class at least >basic stuff about conflict and plot structure >brought up Aristotle and his view on stories driven by plot vs character >I struggle with characters for the same reasons >it's hard to create a character and then place them in a conflict >conflicts arise from the conditions of the character >I start with the conflict and then I have to create a character who meets the conditions >something to work on... >didn't get a ticket, next time is my third strike for sure >went home, tired and hungry just like yesterday >paycheck meant we'd go grocery shopping soon >gotta clean out the freezer, time for a buffet >1 chicken patty leftover, airfry for 10 minutes >trader joes pork dumplings, steam on stovetop >got too fat and hungry while waiting, microwaved 2 corndogs >wanted to play some video games after eating >food coma takes over... >still have work >luckily I got some sleep before heading out

>class again today, production >wifebot had a doctors appointment but it was done early so she had an hour to spare >met her for coffee and a bagel for breakfast >always a vietnamese latte, I think they just use condensed milk >didn't finish it before class and couldn't bring it in, left it in the car >nothing too important today, tired for some reason, slumping in my chair >ice melted and watered down my coffee, needed caffeine desperately and still drank >tired and hungry, I dont understand >only thing I needed to get done was cleaning my grill >full chemical scrub and spraydown rinse, hasn't been done since I moved >I did freelance work for a grill cleaning business, website and art design >owner was going crazy on chatGPT, wanted miles of text and images all AI-generated >couldn't resolve the disagreements and he fired me >needed a job at the time and I never asked him if I could clean grills >seemed like a step down from a creative role like I had >here I was scrubbing my own grill, and it was honestly satisfying work >I probably could've made a good grill cleaner >thought completing a task would make me less tired >fuck it, just need to sleep >4hr nap >waking up from daytime naps is always a disorienting experience >not tired anymore but still hungry, told wifebot we'd get food when she was off >just want to play video games >new season of Rainbow 6 is out, they added Solid Snake, dope >played a couple hours with my friends >call from wifebot, pulling a double at work >don't have to stop playing and I can finally eat >found some leftovers in the fridge(still good hopefully) >couple beers will nuetralize any bad bacteria I'm sure >drunk and gaming, hell yea...

>off at 7am and mad for no apparent reason >day 3 off the smokes, probably explains it >just heard shamrock shakes are back, damn I really need a vice >closest mcdonalds to work, ice cream machine broke >I don't care that it's 7am give me my fucking milkshake, bitch >2 mcdonalds between here and home, I will have my green custard >Golden Arches off highway >full breakfast meal for mrfatass here, don't forget the 7am milkshake >first window, pay for food >second window, tells me "there's an issue with the shake machine" >fml, these fuckers can't make a shake with mint green food dye >wagie offered refund and I kept the muffin and hashbrowns for damages >3rd mcdonalds drive thru this morning because I will kill myself if I don't get this fucking mint milkshake >finally fucking have it, atp just gonna save for when I get home >chow tf down >director friend needs me as a backup cam operator at 2pm >just need some sleep >stomach full, eyes closed, drift off >wake up to insides cooking and bubbling >already 2pm motherfucker >shit my brains out for another half-hour >really missing an entire day on set for this >text friend, humiliated >with the graveyard shifts, people cut me a lot of slack >wifebot is doing things around the house, asks if I can help >actually poisoned by a promotional drink mix that was probably left unrefrigerated for an extended period of time >bedridden for almost the entire day

>trump started bombing Iran today >they already used the "Nuclear weapon" line, Trump said that was over like 3 months ago >obviously no official declaration of war or anything, conflicting justifications from heads of state >POTUS has to be losing it, can't tell who's really asking for this >probably just flooding the timeline cause of epstein or some shit >living in a death machine >literally and symbolically >in the belly of a death machine -A.J.J. >Israel heavily involved >apparently Iran would counterstrike a planned israeli attack and the US jumped the gun... >the intelligence apparatus of these countries turned in on each other and we panic'd >it was a giant shit-sandwich and Trump just took a bite >Ayotollah is dead >is it over now? does shit still work like that in the 21st century? >I really don't wanna go to war...

>just working and smoking and working and smoking through the last couple days >really need to get working on website, need to get working on a few things >need to lock in for a couple months >3 month plan: -full-stack deployment for guiltypla.net -passport to go to japan -$1500 saved >friends are coming over later, ill tell them abt my plan >stash is out, down to last doob >classic sign, need to quit smoking >this should be my last smoke for a bit...

>wifebot has the day Off >very basic plan: walk down main st, get some mexican food >school again this morning, same screenwriting class with my 2 homies >parked in the main lot and didn't buy a day-pass, need to dip right after class >more character stuff: transformation and redemption, fall arcs and tragedies >got out without a ticket #tybg >wifebot ready by the time I get home >straight downtown, park in the shitty, pissy parking structure >couple cool places, few of my favorites have moved out >goodwill here is bone dry, constantly picked at by locals desperate for some swag >exchange shop next door is always slightly better, but prices range mid-high >totally hit or miss, but nothing I'd drop $30-40 on... >exception: specialxForcesxHardXcore merch for cheap (shoutout!) >next store is a craft shop owned and operated by autistic people >gnarly swag, got a flaming chainwallet and a pair of sunglasses I desperately needed >rest of the clothing spots are desperate resellers >still some dope antique shops >hit up ancient bookstore owned by freemasons, crazy knowledge >corner is dedicated to philosophy manuscripts and old medical journals >me and wifebot setup there for 20-30mins >Antique store hits different since we've been watching Mad Men >it's all from that era and it's easy to imagine people using them >like branded candy dispensers and racist minstrel dolls >Last place was straight grungy >looked more like some dude's garage, crazy slowcore 90's playlist playing, "closing Soon" sign out front >had old war photos and patches, crazy stuff >a rack was wedged behind some other shit, had a pair of thick red cargo pants with camo print >absolutely needed to cop >said places are closing cause of some crazy lazy throwing frivilous lawsuits at everyone >Dinner time >torta asada, crazy style >still got work tonight >food knocked me tf out as soon as I got home >boom, its 10 motherfucker, get tf up >fuck me fuck me fuck me >just need a fucking cigarette >made it on time, not a crazy shift >cracked an energy drink immediately and smoked again on my break >yeesh

>not feeling as sick but drowsy from the cough medicine #sizzrp >me and wifebot both left at 10am >she has work, I have a film production class >nabbed a free parking spot and got to class early >favorite professor I've ever had >basically the ONLY professor I've ever had >runs most of the film department solo >badass human being >most of what she's taught me about production applies to life overall >first real day off holy shit >Video Games >Video Games all fucking day >still sick and home from work? >what else do you do? >Rainbow 6 new season is about to drop >must grind... >didn't even notice wifebot was home >my bad >nothing pizza can't fix (got a coupon for carry-out) >while we wait for the pizza to cook we played their arcade games >terminator pinball machine that replays at 10,000,000 >got to play 3 games on 1 credit, high score 21,000,000 >wifebot got candies and rubber balls from a claw machine >when pizza was done we ran through a corner store on the way home >I grabbed smirnoff screwdrivers and imported energy drinks >hoped I could run off caffeine and game well into the night >energy drink was no match for the alchohol + cough medicine mixture >got real tired around eleven >prob fell asleep before midnight >ZZZ

>work kicked my ass all weekend >impossible to get shit done with one hand in a cast, and busy as fuck >sick on top of all of it, had to wear a mask(mostly making my boss feel bad for making me work) >bought some couch syrup and groceries before heading home >off from regular job tonight, but 2nd AD for short film from 2-6pm >just need to rest a bit but I'll be too tired to get ready >shower and change clothes before jumping into bed >alarms started at 1pm but I wasn't up until 2 >only thing that got me through the door was the cigarette in my mouth >first shooting location was an alleyway behind a grocery store >some other crew was late, so I didn't feel bad >my secondary role is also audio, such are small productions like this >at least I didn't forget the equipment (kept it in my car and prayed it wasn't stolen) >needed to get to second location before sunset, the beach >didn't bring a jacket but temp dropped from mid-70s to 50-something with a wet, ocean breeze >audio is a real challenge in those conditions, so we didn't bother with dialogue >only job left was to wrangle equipment then guard it >stood and watched a couple hundred feet off to keep out of frame of the wideshots >freezing and shivering for a solid hour until the sun set and director called wraps >dinner-time, groceries were all at home and wifebot was off work in 30mins >threw chicken patties in the airfryer while I made a side >tossed buns in last 5min for crispy chicken sandwiches >everything was ready as wifebot got home >tired but made it through dinner >watching Mad Men lately, starting on the last couple seasons >only made it through a couple episodes before crashing >ZZZ

>Off at 7am, yesterday, Dad said he'd call right now... >drove all the way home, still no call... >needed to take it in the car, isolated and quiet >do I really need to text him? he didn't forget abt it >used breakfast as an excuse to drive around waiting >stared at Jack in the Box menu for 15 minutes >they didn't have what I wanted >still no call... >pull back in front of my house >just past 8, fuck it >let go of what little expectation I had of him- >Phone rings >there's inherited incapability of basic communication, let alone emotional vulnerability >it goes both ways, but he's clearly putting more effort than I am >basic run of apologies, I'll take it >his job relocated him to colorado >thats why he has money and he's feeling sentimental >did all my basic catching up, im actually doing well right now >he has no idea how i was doing before or how I will be soon >but I'm doing fine for now >if he wants to try and be a dad, I'll consider being a son >been weighing on me all day, need to eat, need to sleep >i actually do feel better >he never sent any money but whatever

>dad text me today >"Happy Birthday, can I send you some money?" >2 days late >5 years since I saw him last >did the same thing last year, blew it off >felt like renewing his dad subscription >the 2 years before that he didn't bother texting >seems like he's making money at least >if nothing else, a phone-call wouldn't hurt >we never stay in contact longer than a couple months >no expectations >call tomorrow at 7am, after work

>got tickets to see Enjoy & Puzzle, side projects for the brother-brother duo aka The Garden >only really dig the main songs they make together >call this # now >california here we go >call the dogs out >even other side projects where they still collab like Turkey or M.H.V. are better on their own >romantic comedy >Sweaty Super Hero >a handful of their solo songs are just like a nice sprinkle in a playlist of Garden bangers >I saw an Angel >Hard Lesson >tickets were $40 at the big theater and a couple friends told me they were going >isac asks if we can carpool >wifebot doesn't have work tomorrow, says she wants to go >$80, hope its worf >gotta sleep, wifebot gets home at 7, shows at 8 >up at 7, still need to get ready and pick up isac >double check ticket: shitty opener for the first hour >"the stitches" some oldfucks doing faux-punk like 20 years late >okay, don't have to be there on time at all >get ready >pick up isac >find fucking parking downtown >inside by 8:45 >they have a bar but I'm driving >friend lets me hit his pen >they ID'd him for it at the door when they patted him down >I wonder how many carts they've confiscated from dumbass minors >Puzzle is setting up, he's on first >The Garden has a really refined aesthetic, creating a low-barrier-to-entry for their fanbase >appeals to budding teenagers who need a downloadable personality >crowd is definitely some kids' first "epic concert experience", 100-200 heads, avg. age of 17 >temu alt fashion and that Juggalo-style facepaint The Garden has adopted (shoutout ICP) >Puzzle set starts, crowd starts moving like a bouncy castle >bassline is crunchy and the beat is fast, got groovy on a couple songs at first >stops playing back-catalog and only plays songs from new album >forgot how blown-out the sound system is at this oldass theater >their music is supposed to have a "digital" feel to it, these speakers don't have the range >distracted by quality now and can't even dance, if I was drunk maybe i could ignore it >atp just wanna hear "I saw an Angel" >set over, never fucking played the one song I actually wanted to hear >30min intermission, so many awkward couples standing in silence >probably first dates and all they have in common is this one band they like >got stuck in some convos with randoms I used to know >always has the same energy as an awkward first date >like whaddup hi we used to be friends ig bye >its whatever >Enjoy starts playing >Same story, mostly new tracks >Never played any of my favorite >Same issues with speakers >Go in Pit for fun before we split >hand still broken from last show >Push through a million teenagers, dance hard enough to clear myself a tiny circle >Sounds fucking great 20ft from of the stage >Peak moment of the night, no use sticking around any longer >Get burgers and go to bed, epic style

>be me, 23 as of today >still have to work my shitty graveyard shift tonight >still have to go to my screenwriting class at local community college >2 friends in class, filmmakers from 7thstreetproductions >we have a short we're filming already, this class is to workshop future projects >still have our own scripts and each working on characters with completely different arcs >class goes quick, can't wait to get home >birthday blunt waiting for me on kitchen counter >been on the hunt for Grape Swishers for months now (banned in california) >roomate came home last night with a cheeky birthday gift I immediately smoked half of >finish second half with a glass bottle of mexican coke from a friend >birthday feels >suprise call from FAM, birthday dinner at MY HOUSE!! >need to giga-clean now, no naps or nothing, fried and tired af!!! >lil cousins too, need to hide my stash and any remnants >sent inv to homie Zach, he'll save me... >we hit the road yesterday for LA, never made it >had a tattoo appointment but never followed up to confirm >by the time I managed to reach artist, said it was short-notice >made all the way to Chatsworth, fucking CHATSWORTH! >only things to do in Chatsworth: -lifeless strip malls with fresh paint and metal accents -"upcycle boutiques", the rotting corpse of thrift stores -Bulldog Liquidators, cheap goods (front for Armenian mafia?) -Burger 3000 (australian wagyu smash-burgers) -gtfo. >house is finally clean and Zach said him + gf will stop by >6pm, the invasion. Fam is here with enchiladas and chocolate cake. >I can usually handle the quirks in my family, but its the casual convos killing me tonight. >must just be birthdays after 21, I'm in the old-fart club with all of them now, same old, same old >had a single beer with my Papa >Nana invaded my kitchen, just listed utensils and appliances I need >Mom is my Mom :/ >played ping pong/video games with my cuzzos and lil bro >wifebot gave Zach and his gf a ride so now it's a party >feeling chiller >put on "The Phoenician Scheme" but I was anxious and it was boring, looked good on the TV tho >cake Time, everyone sang and everything >birthday feels man, can't help it >family finally cleared out around 9:45 >still gotta give Zach + gf a ride home, then work >t-minus 15 minutes to roll my birthday spliff before we gotta leave >en route, bumping tunes, driving >#tothafilter >MFW White Ford Explorer in rear view... >lockTFin >red and blue lights flash me down WHOOPWHOOP >2nd time this week, some BS about the "reflective layer" on my plates >car is older than me >first time, piggy let me go cause that excuse doesn't hold for shit >let's see how this one goes... >backroads of town, just fucking fields left and right >officer ShitLip thinks he struck gold, puts me through whole routine >blah blah blah I already know about the plates, another asshole already used that one this week >ready with liscense and registration, told him i'd already "contacted the DMV abt the plates" (yeah, right) >it's my #bday, I gotta go to #work, I'm #faded, arrest me >"anyone here on probation or have outstanding warrants?" >fuck off >"be straight up, if I search the car will I find anything illegal?" >fuck off >"Whats with the strong weed smell?" >look at Zach, look at his gf in the backseat, look back at officer >biiiiiiiggg shrug >California, 2026 #noprobablecause >weedfarm within a mile radius btw >oink oink Piggy, I'm late for work... >he let us go "sorry you gotta work on your birthday" >sure ya are, bud >police: public nuissance #1 >friends had to uber from my job so they could explain what happened to my boss >top 3 excuses OAT >work is long and boring and im tired >23-year-old-fully-grown-man, this is just how it is